If you ever wondered what a full length, theatrical version of CSI would look like, it's this piece of shit. But that show can't take all the responsibility. Guy Ritchie needs to shoulder some of the aesthetic blame for this one, too. Scott Walker plays Joey Gazelle (and really, if you need anything more than that sentence to tell you this is a bad film, you are an idiot). He's both a loving family man + a working stiff for the mob charged with disposing of a gun used to kill crooked cops in a drug deal gone bad. This picture of domestic bliss is ruined when a young neighbour boy steals the gun to shoot his abusive father. The kid runs off in a panic, leading Gazelle on a mad chase around the city, trying to find the gun + the help the boy before the cops or the mob catch him first. The plot is awful, the dialogue is even worse, + Scott Walker's affected Italian tough guy routine is downright embarrassing to watch, especially when his nemesis is a ten-year-old asthmatic named Oleg.
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